![SP-June09 [rogue]](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3615/3633637113_14e4da38cb.jpg)
anyway yeah i think after july 6, i may actually be able to at least get my loudest tooth taken care of (can’t afford the crown that will be needed tho) so i can begin sleeping and laying off the ibuprofen. i’m really sticking it to my liver lately trying to drown out the pain from this tooth. between whiskey and ibuprofen, i’m kickin that thing around like a heavy bag. but what are you gonna do? trust me, liver health at this point is pretty abstract. pain that makes your actual hair hurt and gets you from sleep to pacing in five seconds? that’s something you deal with, whatever’s on hand will do!
but july 6 is when a check clears. and its at least big enough to light up the dentist’s eyes i hope. enough to get me in there and have the decay drilled out of this tooth. even just doing THAT would probably give me a lot of relief. altho honestly, i think its so close to the nerve at this point that if they go in, they’re gonna take the whole nerve out and good, is say! begone! your nest has been disturbed, your peace shattered. there is no more protection for you and so i wish you well, nerve. sorry i couldn’t take care of you better.
one day i’ll write the story of what happened to my teeth this time around, what happened with my stomach, how that whole volcanic thing began. it began when i was working at a place…well, i haven’t told many stories about that place. but when i do, trust me. you’ll understand why my stomach started erupting acid. although i almost think telling is the worst way to talk about that experience. painting would be much better. but you’d need sound, too definitely.
yeah, i definitely see an entire series in my future on that job. that “friend.” i shouldnt put it in quotes. i befriended him, so be it. i should not try now to devalue it. but how much can you befriend a boss? and a boss like him? but…i saw the good part of him…so yes. i was his friend. yeah. that doesnt mean i won’t tell the story exactly as i lived it, tho.
anyway, that started it, and shortly after, just trying to “make it’ in the city deepened it. and here i am trying to remember what’s important. peace of mind. an open heart an open mind. but you can’t just let anything in. you can’t just let anything into your heart and your mind. or you can, but there will be consequence. your body may not like it. the body is the agent with two feet on this plane, the body talks to the world about what the mind and heart are doing. especially if the mind won’t listen to the heart. then the body talks louder.
i was trying to write about how everything is connected in my first essay to the think tank institute that just made me a Fellow. i figured i’d use the place to get abstract, to try and flesh out important larger patterns i see; to try and offer paths toward new, effective, expansive progressive thought. the first edit back suggests they want less of a “meditation” and more of a coherent and strident argument for ‘progressive values.’ maybe they called it a “meditation” cuz its mostly questions. i thought they were good ones. i think a good question is worth ten good answers. i’ll see what i can get going on the next edit, which i have to give them today.
my favorite part of ben by michael jackson is how he sings notes from the relative minor but over the (major) tonic. that creation of a tension, and an incidental third addition, tells the part of the song that words never will.
yes i know that the relative minor scale is technically the same as its major tonic scale. but like leading tones, a combination of all the notes (no doubt with certain instrumental additions) tend to imply other notes. and the minor key in ben is threaded into the major progression by insinuation more than actual presentation.
so…there.
on second thought there may be other instruments playing notes from the minor key (or accentuating the half-steps?) that introduce this tension. eh, whatever it is, the metaphor holds. or DID until you had to come in here with all your instrumentality bullshit and introduce DOUBT